...my life back in L.A. and felt as if I were missing the entire world. Here I am surrounded by loving attentive people, in a place only few ever dream of visiting and all I can think of is "What's going on back home?" That's fucked up. I think I needed this break more than I realized. Woke up at around 1:00 am and couldn't get back to sleep. Masturbated and then dreamed of shooting a man in the head. My brother and I hid the body and didn't worry about getting caught as the man was always getting into duels and trying to kill me as well. After all, we could always blame it on one of his duels. Woke up again around 4:30 and Muriel was awake. We talked for awhile and I told her about the sadness I had felt earlier and she comforted me the best she could at the moment. Laid in bed until 6:30 then got up and took a walk. Saw a great looking Billy Goat that resembled Dr. Zeus from Planet of the Apes.